August 07, 2007

Life Is Filled With Downs

You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but life has taken a hellish downward spiral for me. I don't tend to talk about it much on here, but right now I could really use some prayers, thoughts, spells, witchcraft...eh, anything that would help would be good at this point.

  • Dalton has gotten locked into our neighbors garage twice and our other neighbors storage, in the past two weeks. Yesterday he came home with a 6-7" lizard in his mouth. The lizard survived. His tail did not. This morning, (lucky I was awake, but not really), he came home with a HUGE rat. The rat did not survive and it took me 17 minutes to muster up the courage to throw it in the trash. (I'll spare you the gorey details.) Needless to say, I don't want to be around Dalton right now.
  • We had plans to go to the Ventura County Fair this Saturday. I've been waiting weeks, impatiently, to go. But Shawn has to take the car in to have the catalytic converters replaced, (mainly so I can get back and forth to school in September). I'm quite disappointed though. It's the one thing a year that I look forward to doing.
  • I met with my OB yesterday for a consult. Get this...my insurance won't cover my current birth control. They also won't cover an IUD. The cost of my current BC, for one year would be the same as a 10 year IUD. So we decided since there will be no more babies, I am having my tubes tied next Thursday at 11:30. No big deal, but in a way I feel like I'm giving something away. I know I don't want any more kids, this pregnancy was too stressful and caused me to be on bedrest. But there's still that .001% of "what if?". Shawn said he'd buy me a dog if that was the case.
  • Jem was upset last night. He remembered the day that we had to put our dog Ruff down. Mind you, he wasn't around much because my mom and I got Ruff in 1990, (I believe). The dog was a runt, has fallen in a pool, worn raincoats, (he hated water), been hit by a car, had pancreas problems...and then finally he started having bad seizures when he was about 13 years old. It was time to let go. For whatever reason though, Jem saw a picture of him and thought that we would have to put Dalton down. I don't know why, but it shook him up.
  • Scout is teething crazy and won't sleep. She, finally, went to bed around 12, but had me back up at 2. I slept for a little while, while she slept next to me. I've been up since 5. I'm tired. Very, very tired.
  • There is no knitting night this Friday. One of the co-owners of the LYS is moving and the LYS is also having an Anniversary Sale right now, so they decided not to do the Stitch and Bitch. It's my one night a month I look forward to. No cooking, no dishes, no children, no Shawn...just hours and hours of knitting. Now what?

Obviously things are not life or death, but they've all built up a really bad depressive episode and I can't stop wanting to cry. I don't even want to knit. I mean, I want to, but I don't. *sigh* Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

7 comments:

The Imperfect Knitter said...

My daughter always says ' things are meant to happen , and something good ALWAYS comes out of it . No matter how terrible life is , it gets better . My daughters boyfriend is in Afghanistan at the moment, they frequently saw a little girl with a rope around her leg, tied to a pole at the family house . Eventually , they found out that the little girl ran out to greet strangers, and a lot of the strangers were suicide bombers , hence her family tied her up for safety . Count your blessings , and give Scout a big hug and kiss .

jillian said...

Oh my, that's a terrible list of bad things. I am so SORRY :) Advice? Umm, take it one day at a time, and bake something!

Jessica said...

Oh yikes. What a week you are having. Deep breaths. It will pass, things will look up again. You've just got to wait it out....

Nora said...

Oh, darling. I don't know what to say, except I'm thinking of you.

tiennie said...

I'm so sorry! Can I ask - could Shawn do the V thing instead? His would be so much easier and cheaper to reverse than what you would have to go through. That way if you wanted to have another baby, it would give you a better chance. Even though I have 4 babies, and we are done - there's that teeny teeny chance that we may want another someday so my hubby went through the process instead of me.

Leslie said...

I'm with Tienne, it's much easier for a man to have a vasectomy than it is for you to get your tubes tied, but that's a decision for y'all to make. Not one single item sounds terribly bad, but collectively, well, I see why you're a little down. Cats can be stinkers, the fair will be here again next year, cranky kids...I don't have an answer to that, but maybe if you can get out, take a walk alone or with kids, get some fresh air in a nearby park, it clears the head and does perk you up! If that doesn't work, martinis tonight!

Rebecca said...

i'm so sorry to hear about all these downturns. hope that things look up soon. i feel about the same way, but don't have surgery looming! i think it's that time of year.